Drunk
by AmyBucher
Summary: We all know that Jared used to be an alocholic and that he can't resist it when he tastes it. What happens when The Warden gets drunk and accidently breathes some onto him? O.o I'm bad at summeries, please read.
1. Chapter 1

-1**Nothing belongs to me.**

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The WardenxJared

Jared's POV.

I went over the numbers for what seemed like the umpteenth time. I had just stayed up the entire night trying to keep our supplies for Super-Jail with in our budget.

"The Warden is going to kill me…" I mumbled to myself as I took the papers and headed over to The Warden's office.

"Umm…. Sir?" I peaked into his office, only to find him half naked. And the only thing that was keeping him **half **naked was a short towel tied across his lower waist.

"Oh, hello Jared," he turned around to look at me. "I thought you were Alice. Please, come in." He turned back to his mirror as I stepped into the room. I couldn't help but gawk at him…

"Sir…. Uh… about the supplies for that new laser you wanted…" I started trying to keep my eyes on my papers, but my eyes were drawn toward him and whatever he was doing. It seemed like he was trying to show off his muscles to himself by flexing his arms. But nothing happened when he did so. His arms were just pale sticks. His whole body was just pale sticks put together to form a body!

"What was that Jared?" the Warden looked over his shoulder. I instantly looked down.

_If the Warden sees me looking at him naked, he'll think I'm gay! He already saw my dream of us…. But I had a lot of stress that day! That's all! It's perfectly normal to even out stress with sexual release!!!! _

"Jared!" I looked up from my papers to see the Warden mad as hell, standing no more than 2 feet in front of me. "What was that about my laser?"

"Sir! Uh… we don't have enough money for the laser…" He was just getting madder and madder. He stomped back to his mirror, pouting. I simply shuddered, afraid of being kicked, or punched…or shot. But the Warden just went back to posing in front of his mirror.

"Will we have enough money anytime soon?"

"Yes," I replied looking at the bills compared to the average income for Super-Jail, "In about a month."

The Warden did somewhat of a low growl at the back of his throat and frowned as he flexed his muscles once again. "Fine…."

The Warden then sighed angrily and took his boxers and pants from his desk before dropping his towel with no shame… which I think he should have had some shame, considering how small his dick was. It was soooo tiny!!! I could hardly believe it! **Him?!** The most self-confident person in the world had a microscopic dick?

The Warden finally finished zipping up his pants and then turned to me.

"Now Jared," he said to me, "was this all you wanted to tell me?"

I was still recovering from shock, so I simply nodded my head.

"Good," he turned to his yellow shirt and purple jacket to put those on as well. "That means you can stop staring at me naked and _leave._"

"S-sir! I wasn't-"

"I don't care what you were doing, I would just like some privacy to get dressed."

I bit my tongue and left the room.

"…"

_He thinks I'm gay…_

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I'll have the next chapter up soon(unless I got grounded). It was so much fun of the Warden(even though he's my fav character). Poor Jared.^^

Reviews are nice! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Nothing belongs to me.

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Chapter 2:

Jared's POV.

I was slightly trembling while I was sitting at my desk. Half a bottle of alcohol was in my desk drawer, and it was getting pretty hard to ignore it. Not that I had any troubles to have to drown with alcohol at the moment.

I sighed. I had already finished the bills, so normally I would be kissing the Warden's feet and sucking up to him. But, I was too lazy to go looking for him thru the humongous jail… suddenly an announcement came from the loudspeakers.

"Jared! Please come to SuperBar! this instant!"

I grimaced. I hated SuperBar! It was just creating more chances for me to lose it. I thought that the Warden would have closed the bar after what happened, but _nooo, _he wants to get Alice to go on a date with him. Stupid fucking Alice… she's a fucking transvestite!… I think…

"**Now **Jared!!!!" the voice from the loudspeaker sounded angry this time. I got off my seat and shuffled out the door on my way to SuperBar sweating. I was going to be surrounded by…. By… by alcohol. Did the Warden ever pay attention to anyone's back round? Or did he just hire anyone who was willing… willing? Willing sounded a bit vulgar…I shook my head and some of the sweat off my head. What was I thinking?

I went around to the back of SuperBar so I could go thru the backdoor and get my bartender clothes. It took me only a minute or so to get dressed.

I went to behind the bar. The Warden was sitting looking toward the front door. He had his arms crossed looking pissed. Was he waiting for me? Or was he waiting for Alice? Either way, he was getting impatient.

The Warden lifted his arm up and pulled from nowhere, a yellow funnel that went up to the ceiling. He took a deep breath and was about to say something, but I interrupted him.

"Umm… Sir?" I asked nervously. He whipped around and pushing the yellow funnel back into the ceiling.

"Jared!" he exclaimed, and pulled me toward him. He was giggling. Why was he giggling?

 "Yes… sir?"

"Guess what?" he sang. "I have a date with Alice!"

"Sir! Uhh… isn't dating…"

"Blah blah! Against regulations! Well I'm the one who made the rules, so shouldn't I be able to break them?" he paused. "Besides… this is only a friendly outing between friends!"

Of course. Alice wouldn't go on a date with The Warden, but she would go on a "friendly outing". She didn't find The Warden sexually attractive. Who could? He was skinny, had a small dick, wasn't very tall, and had yellowish skin. Which made me wonder if he was anorexic after all.

The Warden turned to the front door again and waited. And waited. And waited. Until finally 2 hours had passed and it was midnight. I continued to watch as his face went from overexcited glee to saddened anguish. He turned back to the counter. "Get me a double shot of whiskey!"

I immediately got a small cup out and poured his drink. He glugged it down quickly. And I saw that tears were brimming. "Another!" I poured another glass. "Another!"

And so the night went on. He kept yelling for more and I kept pouring him more. Finally, it seemed like all the alcohol had killed him. His head lay on the counter, one hand wrapped around the cup on the table, his other arm spread out. I started sweating more. If I had killed him… oh god…

"Sir?" I asked poking him with my finger. No movement. I poked him once again. "Sir?" He stirred his head a little, lifted his head and let out a small groan. "Whhaaaat?"

There was a small part of me that was sad that he was alive.

"It's past midnight… you should probably go to bed." I told him and he dropped his head back down to the counter. I sighed. He had had too much for his own good. I got down from behind the bar and dragged him out of his chair. He weighed practically nothing! My guess… 101lbs? For his age and height, that was definitely too little a weight. That was too little a weight for an 11 year old!

I wrapped his arm around my shoulder and trudged back to his room. The Warden clutched on to me, so it was a little easier. When we were finally there, he wined that he was going to throw up. I quickly unlocked his room( I searched in his pockets for the key) and got him to his bathroom. I heard groaning sounds of puking for about 7 minutes, and then nothing for 2 minutes. I went in to find The Warden collapsed on the toilet. I dragged him off the toilet and to his bed. He seemed even lighter now.

I dropped The Warden onto his king-sized bed. He twisted for a while before turning toward me and drew me toward him, choking me like a big-headed stuffed animal.

"Sir… umm… uhh…" I tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he wouldn't let go.

_How can someone that light be so strong?_

Instead he opened his mouth and let out a groan reeking of alcohol.

And that was it. Just that small movement was enough. Enough to have me on top of him, kissing the hell out of him. Tasting the alcohol and the inside of his mouth with my tongue.

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Yay! 2nd chapter! Poor Warden. L Poor Jared. L I hope to have chapter 3 up soon!^^

I like Reviews!!!!! :D


	3. Chapter 3

Nothing belongs to me…

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Chapter 3

Warden's POV.

I awoke drowsy and with a headache, my head buried in one of my pillows. I wanted to groan, but my head hurt too much to do anything verbal at the moment. "Is this what they call a 'hangover'," I thought to myself rather annoyed and upset. I'd been drinking since my teens, but I had never drunk so much that it would hurt.

I tried to think back to last night… me waiting in SuperBar for Alice… Alice not showing up… me drinking like there was no tomorrow… Ow…my head started to hurt even more, so I stopped trying to remember last night.

…_OW!!!_

My body was inflicted with a new felt pain… my ass.

…wait…. Why was my ass _hurting?_

Trying to make little movement as possible, I took my hand from under the pillow my face was buried in and reached around to my backside(I was laying on my stomach) to touch my butt. When I laid my hand on the surface, o boy, did it STING! I flinched, which made my headache worse. I then slowly but my hand back onto the my butt. The stinging sensation came from my hole… My hole? Why was there stinging in that specific area?!?!?!?! From my ass's hole!?!?!?!?

I took my hand away and put it next to my body. I slowly began to realize that other parts of my body also stung, and some others were sore. But I had felt soreness in my legs, arms, and back before.

With much slowness, I turned so that I was lying on my back and put my other hand to my head.

_What the hell did I do last night?_

I glanced to the clock on my dresser. It read, 7:39 a.m.. I mentally sighed. I was usually up and about around 6:00, at the latest 6:30.

….wait… why was I naked?

I mentally hit myself. Why didn't I notice that sooner?!?! I should have noticed when I touched my ass!!!!!! I was naked!!!!! I quickly looked down at my body to see myself naked. I soon regretted moving my head when a series throbbing pain came from the center of my head.

"owhh…" I slurred. I touched the back of my head to find my hair in a tangled mess instead of the silky smoothness I was used to. I grunted as I removed the sheets from myself(with some trouble because my legs were tangled up in them) and got out of bed to get dressed. I put on my purple boxers, and that was when I first noticed 'it'.

'It' referring to the lump in my bed, in the middle of my sheets. Was it a huge rock or something? My headache worsened as I bent down and took off the sheets, to find my accountant, Jared, curled-up naked in my bed.

I almost screamed as I jumped back.

What.

The.

**Hell.**

I immediately bent down to reach for my pants that were near. I turned around and fumbled with picking up my boxers, to put those on as well.

What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?

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Short chappy. : (

Sorry guys. I got grounded suddenly, and now I'm only allowed on weekends…. But im usually at my dad's house at the weekends, and he doesn't have a computer…. I hope to upload within a week or 2 next time! I've already started the next chapter! It will switch back to Jared's POV.^^


	4. Chapter 4

Nothing belongs to me….

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Chapter 4

Jared's POV

"-the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?" those words welcomed me as I awoke, tired and stiff. My body felt extremely light…. But my head felt heavy. I opened my eyes to find my head buried in purple pillows and pink sheets.

I rolled over so that I could see the ceiling.

_This isn't my room…._

I lifted one of my short arms to rub the crud out of my eyes.

That's when I noticed the Warden at the end of the bed, pulling on his purple pants.

…

_What?_

I looked down at myself to find myself completely naked. I panicked.

I was in the Warden's room… naked… with the Warden getting dressed…and was that a hangover I had?

It slowly sunk in what had happened. The Warden breathing in his alcohol drenched breath on to me and me kissing him with my tongue to taste that alcohol. Then things got a little heated… I suppose that was due to our sexual deprivation.

"Ummm… Sir?"

The Warden spun around, half of his yellow undershirt and purple jacket on, half of it off. He seemed flustered.

"YOU!!!!!" I trembled with how much authority there was in his voice as he pointed with one finger at this door.. "GET THE **FUCK** OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!"

"Sir! I…err…."

He grapped my arm and pulled me close.

"I swear, if you mention this to ANYONE you. Are. Dead."

I opened my mouth to say something, but he threw me off the bed. He pulled on the rest of his shirt and jacket. I grapped for some of my clothes to put them on.

"OUT! NOW!"

"But, Sir-"

"NOW!" he towered over me with fire in his yellow eyes.

I scopped up my shirt, jacket and tie and left the Warden's room. Luckily, his room was off of his office so that I dint have to stand in the hallway naked.I finished dressing and looked at the Warden's door. I creaked the door open a bit to find him throwing his bed sheets and pillows to the floor, grumpling to himself. He seemed so flustered… It was kinda cute.

I slowly closed the door so that it didn't make a sound. And as soon as that happened, the door flew open and hit me. The Wareden picked me up by the front of my shirt and pressed me to the back of the wall.

_He may be skinny and lightweight, but he's strong…_

"This never happened. Forget all about it. Don't talk about it with me or anyone else. Don't even **think about it, got it?" I think I could see fire coming out of his nostrils. He dropped me to the floor and walked away, not bothering to hear my answer.**

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**Sorry it took so long! Sorry it's so short! I hope to have the next one up soon!**


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